Irony
by thepragmatist
Summary: Sasuke hates Irony. Especially when it comes to Naruto. SasuNaru


**Irony**

**Pairing: **SasuNaru  
**Warning**: Shounen-ai and obnoxious plot-twists  
**Disclaimer**: If I owned Naruto...oh whatever, we all know I don't.

* * *

Sasuke stared in horror at the pink-haired girl looking at him.

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Sakura just smiled at him sweetly.

"'Fraid not, Sasuke-_kun_." The suffix slipped out as a hateful sneer. "Your choice. Either you go out with me, or I'll go out with Naruto. And you know he'll accept."

If Uchihas winced, Sasuke would have done so. He hated to admit it, but he knew that Sakura was right Naruto was still in love with the cherry blossom girl. He also knew that Sakura was aware of his obsession with the blond.

Sasuke glared coldly at the smiling girl before hissing out. "Fine."

Sakura grinned before grabbing his hand and dragging him off to show Ino.

As Sasuke allowed himself to be yanked along, he felt a familiar tear in his heart. After all, it was his fault he fell in love with an absolutely straight guy.

- - - -

Sasuke sat uncomfortably at the nice restaurant with his beaming _girlfriend_.

It had been a month since they were "dating." Though you could hardly call it dating since Sasuke refused to kiss, hug or generally touch Sakura in any intimate way. But she didn't mind, as long as he was trapped in this relationship, she was happy. She knew he would grow to love her.

Sasuke scowled, unable to understand why Naruto loved this girl so much. He remembered when Sakura first announced that she was going out with Sasuke in front of Naruto. Sasuke could've killed himself with the sad and disappointed look Naruto shot him. His cerulean blue eyes questioned Sasuke's onyx ones. _Why Sasuke? You knew I liked her. Why?_

Sasuke had looked away, unable to bear the guilt.

But Naruto had gotten over it, somewhat. Though he had seemed depressed lately and didn't have as much enthusiasm, Sasuke knew he couldn't let Naruto be with that girl.

"May I take your order, sir?"

Sasuke ignored the waiter and looked out the window.

"Sir?"

"Sasuke-kun, the waiter wants your order."

Sighing, Sasuke looked at the waiter was waiting with questioning eyes. Blue questioning eyes.

"Naruto?"

"Hehe, hey Sasuke!"

Sasuke's eye brows crinkled in confusion. "When did you start working here?"

"I just started a few days ago! Lee got Chouji to let me have a job here! Isn't he great?"

Sasuke frowned. Since when was Naruto so keen on Lee.

Suddenly Sasuke felt jealous. It wasn't fair that Lee was able to catch Naruto's attention when he had to go though all this trouble just to make Naruto available.

"Well if you're not gunna order anything I have to get back to the kitchen and deliver Sakura-chan's order. See ya later!" And with that Naruto bounded away again.

Sakura smiled at Sasuke. "I'm glad Naruto's starting to work for himself. He can't always depend on missions. Especially since you've been eating them all up."

"Hn." _Only to get away from you more often_.

Suddenly a voice behind Sasuke caused him to look around.

"Hello lovely couple of springtime youth! Do you happen know where Naruto is?"

Before either of the pair could reply, a blond blur came bounding out of the kitchen.

"Here I am, Lee-kun!"

Sasuke twitched. _Lee-kun?! Since when did Naruto start calling him that?! With the way Naruto acts towards him, you'd think they were da-­_

Sasuke's inner-rant was cut off as Naruto pressed him lips to Lee's.

Suddenly Sasuke was up and yelling. "Naruto! What is the meaning of this!?"

Naruto looked up at Sasuke, eyes wide. "W-What do you mean S-Sasuke?"

Sasuke glared. "I mean why the fuck are you kissing Lee, I thought you were straight."

Naruto's happiness seemed to dim. "When you're the kyuubi container, you'll take love in any shape, size, or gender."

Sasuke felt like this was all one joke. Sasuke stomped up to Naruto and grabbed his collar, pulling his face close to his.

"Are you serious?!" Sasuke hissed. "You're telling me, that I just spent the last month with that pink-haired BITCH because I was convinced you were in love with her and that I had no chance with you cause you were fucking straight, only to find out now that you ARE gay?!"

Naruto shook his head. "Not gay. Bi." Sasuke looked ready to kill.

But instead he started to laugh, an insane laugh that made Naruto worry for his life.

"You want love, kitsune? I'll show you love." And with that Sasuke poofed away, Naruto trapped securely in his arms.

Lee blinked before sliding into the chair across from Sakura.

"Well I think that worked marvelously, don't you?"

"Sure do, darling. Sure do."

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Wierd ending? Yes I know. I had no idea it was gunna end like this. It was gunna be alot more angsty but -shrug- whatever. 


End file.
